You’re asking the wrong questions about men, here’s what to do instead

by Dr. Lara Fernandez on January 14, 2014

Enjoying the excitement and anticipation of what The New Year means. Johnny and I have been contemplating our individual “themes” for 2014, and mine is “Stepping Up!” His is “A New Approach”. What’s YOUR theme for 2014? I’d love to hear it!

“Here we are enjoying the fun and silliness of life. Hope you are too!”

If you’ve read my blog for awhile now, you know I’m a big fan of the saying, “the quality of your life will be determined by the quality of questions you ask”. It’s so true. In this week’s article, I share with you some of the most frequently asked dis-empowering (aka just plain “wrong”) questions to ask, and then what to ask instead to get better quality answers that actually SUPPORT you (instead of hinder you) to find your man in 2014.

Have a fantastic week!

As a single woman, have you ever asked these questions? Are you asking them now?

“How do I get him to like me?”
“What will it take to make myself irresistible?”
“How do I need to act to get him to be interested in me?”
“Where do I go to find good men?”
“How will I ever find the right man?”

If so, you’re barking up the wrong tree. Those questions keep you out of your power and keep you giving your power away to someone or something else. They take the responsibility out of looking at the person who’s the common denominator of all your relationships that didn’t work out: YOU. By not looking at yourself and doing the inner work to shift your beliefs and behaviors around men and relationships, you stay on the hamster wheel of relationships: always looking outside of yourself for answers.

Yes, of COURSE those men had responsibility for how they acted and for the way they treated you. But by focusing only on THEIR PART in your so-called “failed” relationships, you allow yourself to keep repeating your same old patterns of negative beliefs and the resulting behaviors cause you to keep attracting the same man in a different body over and over.

You know what? It’s not your fault. As women, we’ve been conditioned to be victims of our circumstances and to ignore the basic universal law of Cause and Effect…. that the fact that we keep attracting a non-committal or aggressive or verbally abusive or an emotionally unavailable man (Effect) DOES, in fact, have something to do with our mindset and the way we think about ourselves and the “vibe” we are putting out there (Cause).

Here’s a few better questions to start asking:

“What do I like and even LOVE about myself?”
“How can I learn how to shift any negative beliefs and behaviors around men and relationships that I have?”
“What can I do to live my best life NOW as I attract the love of my life?”
“What kind of woman do I want to BE in relationship?”
“Do I want to LEARN how to attract my soulmate now?”
“What can I do to make my love life this year different and better than last year?”

It’s 2014. A New Year. A Fresh Start. Time to chart your course and set your sails in a new direction. Try a different approach. Start asking better questions of yourself and others regarding men and relationships. In the comment section below, share with me what question(s) resonated the most with you and why. I love to hear from you and I do my best to respond to every comment.

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