Every morning, when I’m hugging and kissing Isabelle good bye as she is leaving for school, we have a little ritual. I ask her 4 questions:
1. Who is worthy of everything wonderful? (She answers, “I am worthy of everything wonderful!)
2. Who loves and accepts herself EXACTLY as she is, right now? (She answers, “I love and accept myself EXACTLY as I am right now!)
3. Who is ready to make it a great day? (“I am”, she says)
And then I ask,
4. And WHO is responsible for making it a great day? Your teacher? Your friends? Mommy? Daddy? Bean? (And she responds, “I AM responsible for making it a great day!)
Sometimes I tease a little bit and push back and say, “Are you SURE? You mean, NOBODY and NOTHING ELSE is responsible for you having a great day? ONLY you? What about the weather? Or your grades? Or your hairstyle?” And she laughs, and says, “Only I AM responsible for making it a great day!”
It’s an awesome ritual. A ritual that sometimes I’m not so aware of how important it is to her, because I’m always the one to start it. One morning, in the rush of things, I forgot to ask her the questions as she headed out the door. And then… SHE started the ritual by saying, “I AM worthy of everything wonderful!!!” Which obviously was my cue to ask her the rest of the questions! 
I am all teary eyed right now. I’m the one who always starts the 4 Questions, and now I see how VERY IMPORTANT they are to her. *sniffle of gratitude*
What if YOU asked yourself these questions every morning? How would that set the course of your day? Would you be more empowered? More joyful? I’d love your comments below, here on my blog. Also, if you find value in this article don’t keep it to yourself, share with with a friend!
Are you willing to ask yourself these questions? Go ahead and do it. I dare you! And let me know how it feels, and what shifted for you.
Here’s to asking ourselves empowering and uplifting questions!
P.S. Remember when “bad habits” were endearing when you first started dating? What happened?
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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Good morning and congratulations on your anniversary.
I’ really enjoyed reading this article. It is a great reminder of how much we can do for ourselves every morning. I had an interesting response in my body as I thought of each question and response.
My body squirmed inside, my mind quickly doubted the answer, “I am worth y”..I was very surprised because I like to believe I am worthy but my automátic response was to reject.
I am going to practice this every morning moving forward.
Thank you for sharing. Your love is felt acróss your emails, blogs and vídeos.
Congratulations again!
Evelin
Evelin,
You are welcome. And thank you for the good wishes.
My hope is that this blog helps you keep the faith and use time-honored tools to help you live the life of your dreams. These questions are so simple, yet so powerful. Enjoy!
Lara
As I bring these healing and true words to my inner-daughter, tears come into our eyes. It’s never too late to raise a healthy, happy girl! Lara, you are such a dear. Thank you so much for showing me, us, what self-care looks like and sounds like.
From an overflowing heart I wish you and Johnny the best year of your life so far!
Constance
Constance,
That’s right. It’s never too late to raise a healthy, happy girl! By now, most of us have been parenting ourselves longer than our parents did. It’s time to re-condition ourselves to receive more love and joy.
May 2013 be overflowing with love and joy for you!
Lara
Lara…You are Magic…Just in the last hour I was thinking…How could I develop questions that I could ask myself? …to make each day go better….Thank You…I will be working with these Questions for sure…
And….Happy Anniversary to You and Johnny!!!
Ann
Ann,
Thank you for your kind words. I’m so glad the questions resonated with you! Let me know how it’s going for you as you put this practice into your life.
Warmly,
Lara
Love it!!
I’m so glad, Chris. Please let me know how it goes for you if you ask yourself these questions.
I was telling my client about this yesterday and it made for the nicest conversation between us.
Awesome, Blair!
Hi Lara,
Thank you so much for sharing your ritual with us. I am commiting myself to a 40-day challenge to ask and answer these four questions. I have trouble with loving myself so this next 40 days will be a real experiment for me!
Thanks again,
Anita
Anita,
I pray that your 40 day challenge brings you some measure of peace and self love. Please let me know how it’s going for you and any shifts that occur.
Warmly,
Lara
Lara, I love…LOVE…LOVE!!! this idea! Thank you!! I am going to print the questions and post it to my bathroom mirror so that I will do this exercise every day.
Great, Sherri!
That’s an awesome idea!
Let me know how it’s going for you!
Love,
Lara
Hi Lara! what a transformative and beautiful ritual! I have three kids and we’re transitioning through a divorce. I’ve started asking the kids (ages 12, 10 and & 7) and I’m coming against some interesting answers…..
like anybody but them, when I say it’s them they respond hmmm, no. or they remark that the ?s are silly, etc.
I admit they shocked me to consider asking myself and I’m seeing how my insecurity or feelings of unworthiness is translated into my kids. Do you have any ideas to help me encourage them or help them discover the truth of these powerful statements?
Many and more thanks for all the wonderous good you’ve done in my life so far!
Jen
Dear Jen,
I’m honored that you are asking your children these questions. Don’t worry if they say the questions are silly, that’s okay. My daughter Isabelle said the same thing at the beginning. But I’m willing to be “silly” if it means that I’m instilling these empowering questions into her! When they say it’s silly, just smile, nod and lovingly keep asking every day- with no judgment about their answers.
And the best way to encourage them is for them to see YOU showing yourself loving-kindness. Never put yourself down. Always be as loving and caring and forgiving toward yourself as you can. Print up these questions and put them on your bathroom mirror and ask yourself these questions too- out loud and let them hear you respond. Kids learn by example, first and foremost.
And do let me know how it’s going for you and for them!
Radiance and courage,
Lara
Thank you Lara Fernandez!
This is so powerful! You are a good mum and a good psychologist ! Your daughter can be lucky to have a mother like you! This will make her so strong.
I have pinned these question near the mirror in my bathroom although I am 40+ and never had a good mum!
Believing in our brain’s neuroplasticity, I will practice these questions every morning for 21 days or a month in a row!
I will post the outcome/update, ok?
Kindest regards, many thanks for your generous ways!
Linda
You are welcome, Linda! I hope you enjoy the process.
And by the way, I am not a doctor of psychology… I’m a doctor of chiropractic. Just to make sure I’m clear.
Warmly,
Lara