“Don’t chase the paper, chase the dream”
- P.Diddy (yes, I said P.Diddy)

Here’s my dream: to inspire spiritual, single women to step into their power, speak their truth and live the life of their dreams with their soulmate by their side.

WHY do you want to find your soulmate? Why do you want to live the life of your dreams? What’s YOUR dream? Are you chasing the “paper” (just the guy, the money, the hot body, the next job promotion) or are you going for fulfillment, joy, peace, self-love… the feelings your dreams, when realized, will actually provide you?

If you want to magnetize your dreams to you, you must keep your big WHY clear in your head. In the early stages of creating your dream life, there won’t always be clear evidence that your idea is a good one, or that this is the right time to go for it.

During this time, what is essential is that you believe in your vision. At the very least, you need to adopt beliefs that will support you in moving from where you are to where you want to be. In a survey of over 250 family physicians from across the country, 99% said they thought a patient’s belief could enhance and aid in their recovery process. To say it plainly, having a strong belief system is more than just an airy-fairy, New Age idea. Having a strong belief system is essential.

Since our attitudes and beliefs determine the choices and the decisions we make, your beliefs will either boost you or betray you. And please keep this in mind: your beliefs are never neutral. They either move you forward or hold you back. If you dream of attracting your true love to you, but don’t believe it’s possible, watch how quickly you’ll prove yourself right, over and over again! But if you take this same dream -to find your soulmate- and ACT as though you believe in it, you will take different actions that, if you are open and persistent, will ultimately end up in your soulmate being by your side.

There are three main limiting beliefs that we as humans tend to be born with or acquire over time. These are important to recognize when (or if) you see them showing up in your life.

Limiting Belief #1: Inadequacy. “I’m not ____(fill in the blank) enough.” I’m not good enough, smart enough, fast enough, rich enough, thin enough, young enough, old enough, etc.

Limiting Belief #2: Scarcity. “There’s not enough _______(fill in the blank) to go around.” Not enough time, money, good men to go around…it’s all just scarcity thinking.

Limiting Belief #3: Trust. “I don’t trust you, me, the timing, God, or _____” (fill in the blank). Without having trust in someone or something outside of yourself you’ll be putting so much pressure on yourself, you’ll never change your fortunes in love. Learn from and trust others, and have faith beyond that…there’s more going on than you can see, more than you can know, more than meets the eye.

Do you hear any of these lines playing in your head? If so, please know that a belief is really only a habitual thought you keep thinking that either empowers you or impedes you.

If your habitual thoughts (aka beliefs) are holding you back from taking action toward your soulmate and the life of your dreams, here’s what to do.

Replace your thoughts with these:

1. I deserve _____ (soulmate love, financial prosperity, a fit and healthy body, fill in the blank).

2. There’s plenty of _______ (good men, money, great jobs) to go around. There is enough of everything.

3. I trust that there’s a reason for everything and that God/Spirit/The Universe has my back (even if I don’t like how things look right now).

I recommend that you take 5 minutes and write these positive new beliefs on sticky notes and put them all over your house, your car, or even at your desk at work. Remember, if you don’t trust and do something different, life can hand you opportunities to have what you say you really, really want and you will miss them.

Here’s to living your dreams!

So, do any of the limiting beliefs above sound like you? If so, what are you doing to shift those beliefs? Please share in the comments section below. I love to hear from you and I do my best to respond to every comment.

Have a blessed week as you go for your dreams!

“A belief is really only a habitual thought you keep thinking that either empowers you or impedes you.”
– Lara Fernandez

A BIG mistake I see women making all the time when they are attempting to consciously and intentionally attract their soulmate is staying close friends with their exes. DON’T DO THIS.

Don’t have your ex-lovers, boyfriends and husbands around in your life as “friends”. UNLESS…you have children with them. Most women have been taught that having exes is something to be proud of and often brag to me how they are good friends with ‘all of their exes’. Well, isn’t that NICE.

But, wait. Is your goal to be NICE or to find your man? Well, honey, niceness is overrated! It’s something us women have been conditioned since birth to try to be. Now, nobody’s saying you need to be a rude b*tch here, by the way. But you can wish your exes the best in their lives…. from afar.

Listen, having all those exes (or even one or two) around in your life only does one thing. It blocks soulmate love from you. It makes it wayyyy harder for your guy to find you, because your energy is so preoccupied with all of your ex “friends” and hanging out with them. So much that there’s no room for the right guy for you to fit in, if you’re not careful!

Why keep your exes out of your life? (except of course if you’re raising children)

1. It easily becomes “leaky energy”, which is something that happens when you flirt or occasionally sleep with your ex. Leaky energy absolutely BLOCKS love from you. I’ve had many women argue with me about this, telling me that they think that if they don’t flirt or sleep with someone regularly, they will lose their feminine edge and that they “need” to be touched. Well, here’s what I’ve got to say about that: How’s that working for you? If you have been looking for your guy and he hasn’t shown up… and you are sleeping with or yes, even flirting with your ex… this is leaky energy! Try doing something different. Respect yourself and your time and don’t sleep with someone outside of committed relationship. He’s an ex for a reason!!! Focus inward. Focus on YOU first.

2. If you are hanging out a lot with an ex or two or three, there is very little (if any) energetic space for your soulmate. Declutter your exes from your life. Nature abhors a vacuum. Create an “empty space” so your guy – the RIGHT guy for you – can claim it. You see, you don’t need any more “friends”. My bet is you don’t see your girlfriends you’ve got right now as often as you want to as it is. This is all about creating a spaciousness in your life, so he can come in and fit like a puzzle piece into your life. But only if that space is unoccupied.

So how does this apply to YOUR life? Feel free to leave a comment or a question below in the comments section. I love to hear from you and I try my best to respond to everyone.

If you’d like to learn more, in person, from me and Johnny – join us for our last live workshop of 2013 – next weekend! You can learn and shift more in two days by experiencing what it means to be in alignment with soulmate love than you can in months of reading about it. Why not save yourself some time and heartache? Women are traveling from all over the world to be there, I invite you to join us.

Until next week! You can leave your comments here.

P.S.: As you read this and wonder “how can I turn my fortunes in love around THIS year?” We have an invitation for you. LISTEN to what other women, who had that same question did for themselves last week. They are now in a different place, on a different road, and have changed their life NOW.

I recently received this email:
“…..My ego has been putting up a pitched battle with all the changes I’ve been making in my life this past year, and it feels like I should do some consolidating before going on. I would like to hear your perspective on that since it’s hard for me to tell if that’s just the ego again wanting me to slow down (from taking any more courses or doing any more personal development work).”

And here was my reply:
“That ego is quite the trickster, I agree. Hard sometimes to discern ego from intuitive guidance, isn’t it? Here’s what I know about the ego vs. your higher self:

1. The ego speaks in terms of lack and limitation and says “you don’t have enough time for ________.” Just wait for now… someday, when all your “ducks are in a row” (which never really happens)… then you’ll be ready for x, y, z…the ego likes to console you by saying “someday” A LOT. Or it may say, “I already know that already”, when some sage advice is given. The ego’s voice is usually louder inside your head and especially loud when one is frantically busy and overwhelmed with activities of life…. when you are tired, lonely, hungry or angry.

2. The higher self speaks in terms of possibility and growth and expansion and evolution. It gently pushes you just past your comfort zone in your life, so that growth and expansion and evolution can actually happen for you. The voice of the higher self has been called the ‘still, small voice’ and is often a gentle whisper that is only heard when there is spaciousness in one’s life; when you are cultivating that quiet soul space where you are connected with nature, meditating, praying, relaxed, well-fed and well-rested… and it often speaks to you in the shower, or just before you wake up in the morning.”

If you’ve been really wanting to find your soulmate and it just hasn’t happened yet, there’s still more for you to learn about yourself, about love, about letting go of the inner critic as much as possible. In other words, drop that inner negative self talk like it’s HOT, girl!

As soon as you hear your inner voice telling you about all of your limitations and why you can’t find love, why you can’t live the life of your dreams, you’ve got to stop it because that takes you down a negative road that lowers your magnetism to love and actually can block it from coming to you.

You see, the life of your dreams is your birthright. If you are not experiencing life to its fullest, then there is an opportunity to start to shift this around by changing the way you think about things.

The keys to changing the way you think? Here’s a short checklist for you! (we love checklists, don’t we?!)

• Use affirmations to shift your thinking. (this really works for me)

• Get enough sleep. 8+ hours a day.

• Drink 8+ glasses of water a day.

• Get out in the sunshine as often as you can for 10-15 minutes.

• Do something DIFFERENT and out of your comfort zone. Book that trip you’ve been wanting to take. Go bungee jumping. Take a salsa lesson.

• Gather monthly with a supportive and high vibration girlfriend or group of them and connect with them over wine and dinner or a hike. This is super important.

• Let us be your Love Mentors and join us at our Love Breakthrough Weekend in May! (There’s only 2 seats left as of this writing.)

• Practice what I call “5 Minutes of Joy” everyday. This is where you give yourself 5 minutes of doing something that brings you relaxation or joy everyday… no matter how busy you are. Maybe make your favorite cup of tea and sit on your porch and enjoy it… or buy yourself a beautiful bouquet of flowers… or just lie down on your bed and allow yourself to daydream again.

What can YOU do now to shift your thinking and allow your Higher Self to be heard? What do you do to find that quiet spaciousness in your life? Please share with us in the comments below. I love to hear from you and I do my best to respond to everyone.

Please remember, your dreams matter. The fact that you’re yearning for a deeper connection and soulmate love is important! Don’t give up on your dreams! They CAN come true!

Until next week….

P.S.: Time for you to become a soulmate magnet? The Love Breakthrough Weekend 2 days of growth, learning, connection, and fun that is unparalleled in how much you open to soulmate love and learn to be magnetic to it. Our next one is spring 2014. But we have 2 seats left for May 18-19. You can learn more and enroll HERE. Join women from all over the US, Canada, Europe, South America who will be there to have a breakthrough in their love life. Could you use a breakthrough in your love life?