When I was a young girl, I played with Barbie dolls. I had a whole collection of them. About 20 or so of all of these different forms of beautiful, blonde and skinny-curvy Barbies. I read the fairy tales of beautiful princesses being rescued by handsome wealthy powerful princes and was essentially brainwashed into believing that somehow my body, my hair, my eyes weren’t good enough.

I grew up believing that I needed to be taller, I needed to be skinnier and that somehow God didn’t know that I was supposed to have straight hair!

Well, this conditioning, this brainwashing over the years had its effect in my beliefs about myself and my body. I had the belief that my body wasn’t lovable the way it was made.

And as with all beliefs, that belief was reflected in the circumstances of my life and especially in the men I was attracting. I tended to attract men that tolerated my curvy and petite body and didn’t appreciate it fully. I would date men who would check out other women while they were with me. ICK! And the women they tended to swerve their heads for were tall, skinny blondes… something I could never be.

As I worked with my love coach and my spiritual and personal development, an awakening occurred. I became awake to the real truth that I am lovingly made by a benevolent Higher Power, and that my body with its ups and downs in weight, with all of its curves- is simply a beautiful expression and creation of God. And who am I to argue with God??

This was a process, however. I had my confident days and my not so confident days. I remember going on a 2 week trip to Oaxaca, Mexico for their Day of the Dead celebrations. I went with a girlfriend and we had what was to become a life changing trip. This was about 6 months before I met Johnny. On the second day we were in Oaxaca, I met a Mexican man named David. We really connected and he was what I’d call a preparatory relationship even though it was a totally platonic relationship.

When I met him, I felt my heart start to soften. I felt like my heart had been a hard, grey stone… and as I got to connect with him, I literally felt my chest soften and open. I’ll never forget going out to dinner with him. When it was time for dessert, he asked what did I want to have. I said, “Oh I don’t want any dessert. I’ve got to watch my figure.” He looked at me astonished.. and said “WHAT?? You are gorgeous! You have a beautiful, perfect figure!”

What an eye opener! You mean, I am perfect and beautiful exactly the way I am???? Wow! And though I knew that David was not my soulmate, I realized that if ONE man can find me beautiful and perfect in my body as I am, there had to be AT LEAST one more on the planet! It opened me up to realizing without a doubt what it would feel like to be adored exactly as I am. It didn’t mean I didn’t work out, eat right, drink my water… it just meant that I did those actions to just simply take good care of myself and show myself the love that I wanted to receive…

And six months later, I met Johnny who has ALWAYS reflected back to me this newly acquired belief that my body is simply gorgeous. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have my not-feeling-so-good-about-myself days. I do sometimes.

And I’ve learned that loving myself is not a destination, but an endless journey of self care and kind and loving self talk.

How are you showing yourself love today? What do you do that makes you feel good about yourself? Feel free to share in the comments section below. Share your wisdom, maybe you’ll inspire another!

“If you want to hold the beautiful one, hold yourself to yourself.”–Rumi

P.S. Are you a SINGLE woman? Curious where all the good men have gone? Men of Quality do exist! Step up as a Woman of Quality and attract him now, it’s totally possible, Join us! Click HERE for the FREE video series.

P.P.S. Want to hear from women just like you on how to overcame self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, and tap into your feminine energy to create a balance of peace, playfulness and prosperity in your life and businesses? Register FREE HERE.

This week we’re making our episode a bit different. Today, we pay our tribute to one of the gifted singers of all time, Whitney Houston.

Watch my video below as I share to you the importance of Self Love and how this will greatly affect your life.

Remember, start with knowing thyself and from there you will be able to attract the life and love of your dreams. Enjoy! ♥

P.S. Curious about how the minds of Men with Quality work? You’ll be surprise of how uncomplicated they are. Right now you can get this FREE video series featuring interviews with real men. Click HERE for the free video series.

P.P.S. Are you tired and worn out from working a job that no longer fulfills your soul? Do you have a calling that would make your heart sing but are afraid you can’t be prosperous living it? I hear so many of you are in this boat. If this is YOU, you will want to be on this special free call with my friend and colleague Solané Verraine as she dispels the 7 MYTHS KEEPING YOU STUCK IN A SOUL-LESS 9-5 JOB. She will also give clear advice about what you can do to get unstuck. Sign up HERE.

From your first interaction with a man you’re telling him whether you are just a Fling, or a woman who might one day be his wife, possibly the mother of his children, in other words a Potential Wife.

When a man meets a woman, he is wondering which category to put you in – Fling or Potential Wife. We’re not really that complicated.

Many women have been conditioned by the mass media to believe that “looking sexy” is a way of showing independence. Freedom of expression in all forms IS an important part of independence, however, when you dress for a date, you are sending clear messages about who you are, and which category you fit in (Fling or Potential Wife) loud and clear.

Here are three first/early date ways you put yourself in one category or another (whether you like it or not):

Clothing: Wearing low cut or virtually see-through blouse, and/or a skin tight dress, and those high “fu*# me pumps” tells him loud and clear “I’m a Fling.” Which is fine if that’s what you’re going for. But if you are looking for your husband you want to be beautiful and elegant. Think Michelle Obama, not Madonna.

Location: If you invite him to your place within the first few dates, you are telling him loud and clear “it’s a very real possibility we could sleep together” which puts you squarely in the “Fling” category in his mind.

Sex: If you actually sleep together within the first few dates he thinks “this was pretty easy, she must have done this before…a lot” and you are definitely not in the “Potential Wife” category in his mind. Does that mean you wont have fun? No. Does that mean you can’t have a decent relationship? No. Does that mean that you’ll be stuck with a man who “can’t commit” and you can’t figure out why? Very likely. Because he just can’t move you from your position of “Fling” to “Wife”.

Popular movies suggest this happens all the time. Ryan Gosling’s latest movie (Crazy, Stupid, Love) suggested that, and it’s a joke as far as how real life works. And unfortunately ladies, the joke is on you. Get picked up, f&!% his brains out, and then make him fall in love with you and he’ll stop his player ways because you are so amazing. This is not only a joke, but a sad joke. You ARE amazing, too amazing to fall for that.

If you haven’t updated your wardrobe and your places you hang out to reflect the maturity level you are at, it may be time for an update. If you have bought into the idea that you’ve got to “show some skin” or sleep with them early to get them hot for you, then you can make him fall in love with you, please, take it from me, men don’t operate that way.

A Man of Quality, a mature man, a healthy man, who is open to or actively looking for the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with is looking for “Potential Wife” not just another Fling (he’s had that already…and so have you). See yourself as you want to be seen, and he will see you that way too – if he’s the right one. But if you show him “Fling” clothing, energy, and messages he may even be “ready to marry” … but it won’t be to you.

Want to learn more from real Men of Quality? Check out our new FREE 4 part video series where I interview happily married men about what attracted them to their sweetheart, and ask conscious, caring, single men what are they looking for in their Potential Wife.

For your soulmate connection,
Johnny

P.S. Is it time to get over your past? In fact…break free of it forever? Do you want to embrace a NEW FUTURE? Isn’t it time you finally turned around your love life…FOREVER? Then it’s time for this: Our brand new course – The Love Breakthrough Weekend is OPEN FOR ENROLLMENT for just 5 days in our Ultra Early Bird Special. Find out MORE and register NOW.

P.P.S. Happy Valentines Day! Here’s to making it a beautiful day for yourself, for today and for V-day 2013!