What we can learn from Kim Kardashian

by Dr. Lara Fernandez on November 18, 2014

What an incredible week. Right now, I am celebrating my amazing daughter Isabelle, who just published her fourth novel! We just ordered it from Amazon, and it arrived this week:

Isabelle 300x300 What we can learn from Kim Kardashian

In case you’d like to order it for yourself or to inspire the young aspiring writer in your life, here’s the link: http://www.amazon.com/Forenay-Where-would-were-immortal/dp/1500428981/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416011391&sr=8-1&keywords=forenay

This week also revealed some other types of excitement in the world, some not-so-proud moments in pop culture. Enter Kim Kardashian’s bid to “Break the Internet” by posing nude on a magazine cover. I’ve got a little bit more to say about this in my article this week and what can we learn from her and about ourselves, about healing from heartbreak, standing in our power and attracting soulmate love. I hope you like it.


article banner1 What we can learn from Kim Kardashian

lonely girl What we can learn from Kim KardashianDo you ever think you “should” be at a different place in your life in order to manifest your soulmate? (I’ll get to the Kim Kardashian lesson in a moment. But first, please take a moment to answer these questions)

Do these thoughts come up for you (or some version of them)?

- I should lose weight and have a perfectly fit and toned body before I attract my beloved into my life.

- I should be more financially stable or have a certain level of income before I manifest my soulmate

- I should just have myself more together before he shows up.

I know these thoughts come up because I had them myself! And I remember clearly the day that shifted my perspective and ultimately changed my life: my love coach told me that MY soulmate would love me just as I am, RIGHT NOW and not to keep putting him off energetically by the “someday I’ll” syndrome.

She made it very clear that many times, the “shoulds” in our lives are really just excuses to put things off because we are afraid. We are afraid of getting hurt again or we are scared to do the inner work and examination that needs to be done. Or we simply don’t know there IS any inner work to be done. We identify so strongly with our outer personas that we forget (or never know) that there’s WAY more to us than our bodies.

HELLO! That really hit home for me.

Self Love What we can learn from Kim KardashianI really got from my love coach that attracting love is a paradox: Love yourself exactly as you are right now AND keep doing the inner work, raising your vibration by attending personal development workshops, and taking good care of yourself physically, emotionally, and growing financially. In other words, keep stepping into your BEST version of yourself.

The minute I heard this, something shifted dramatically in me. It was like a heavy brick had been removed from my heart. I let Johnny in energetically at that moment and with my continued growth and caring expert guidance everything came together very quickly after that.

Please know that wherever you may be in your life right now – financially, health-wise, career-wise, or socially – you DO deserve to find the love of your life. Just because you exist and simply because you were born, you deserve powerful Soulmate Love. And it IS your birthright. But you can only make it your DESTINY by going for it! Yes, go for it now! It rarely just falls in your lap. And making soulmate love your destiny has everything to do with you and how you feel about yourself and your life. Not only your self esteem, but your self image as well.

This week, the internet was boiling over with images of Kim Kardashian’s latest publicity stunt, a picture of her nude on the cover of a magazine. Now, you may be asking, what does this have to do with ME and my love life?

It has a lot to do with you and your love life! Allow me to explain.

4019592780 99d10404ca z What we can learn from Kim KardashianFirst of all, I realize this is a free country and Ms. Kardashian can wear (or not wear) whatever she goddamn pleases. I know that. And, since this is a free country, I can say whatever I want about it here on my blog. Yay for democracy! icon wink What we can learn from Kim Kardashian So, here’s my take:

Everything I’ve seen in the tabloids lately about Kim Kardashian and her hubby Kanye West is that their marriage is in trouble. Deep trouble. (Please know that I don’t usually read the tabloids that much at all. I’ve been following this particular story all week because of its implications for women and in particular, their journey to finding their Mr. Right.) I actually questioned whether or not I should write about this, because I didn’t want to add my voice to the millions of hits Kim’s getting as a result of her stunt. And I didn’t want to just bash her, God knows she’s getting plenty of that, too…bless her heart.

But I was troubled that a young woman, a wife and mother with a successful career of simply being famous for being famous, would decide that it’s a good idea to do this. Honestly, my heart goes out to her. As always, I look at a person’s actions as a reflection on what’s going on inside. And if THIS is all she thinks she has to contribute to the world, what must she think of herself?

If she’s objectifying herself, and encouraging others to objectify her as simply a sexual object, what does that say about her self esteem and self image? These are things to think about.

I’d like to hope that there’s more to Kim than this. I pray that she grows into her *true* power, that she taps into that shimmering essence within (that’s within all of us), and starts to take the inner journey toward self love and self respect and self empowerment.

I know that she’s had lots of heartbreak and drama over the years in her relationships, and this relationship is no different. I pray she and her husband commit to self empowerment and personal and spiritual growth and that they can grow together and be a loving role model for their little daughter. This is my hope, however slim the chance may be that it actually happens.

ID 10059990 1 What we can learn from Kim KardashianWhat we can learn from Kim is to start doing the inner work to heal from heartbreak and relationship pain. We can learn to NOT desperately look for attention, any type of attention to feel some inner validation. We can also learn that everybody has been wounded in love, and that some people just choose to act out in different ways and on bigger stages to cover up those wounds. And we can re-commit to being what Johnny and I call a “High Value Woman”: a woman who honors and respects herself and knows her intrinsic worth and value.

Do you know your intrinsic worth and value? Have you done the inner work to heal from the past and move on to living your best life now? We’ve seen lots of amazing women learn what we have to share and use it to change their lives, then again, there are some women who choose to sit at home and pass on our courses and live events month after month, even year after year. While they have lots of logical reasons, I’m sure, it may just be that they are afraid to let love in. Might that be you, too?

Our courses and programs are powerful, and plain and simple –and they work. So why wouldn’t someone make a decision to learn more, heal more, and let more love in? In my experience (now having worked with over a thousand women over the last ten years) I believe it’s fear, masquerading as “rational” and “logical” reasons to wait. Oftentimes, “waiting” for things to be “perfect” can turn into a lifetime of waiting, frozen in fear, and a lifetime of no true love.

Let love in…a lifetime of love is awaiting you. Move past your “shoulds”, move past any fears, and choose LOVE, right now.

SoulmateCouple 300x251 What we can learn from Kim Kardashian“Love is a powerful catalyst for transforming our lives. What greater force for good, what greater depth of emotion exists, what greater gift could one give or receive than love? Some believe that love is our sole reason for being. Our earthly mission is to expand our capacity to love along the way. One of the major tasks we are charged with in our lifetime is to learn to love – to come from our hearts, to lead with our hearts.”

- Bettie Youngs, in her book, Gifts of the Heart: Stories that Celebrate Life’s Defining Moments

I’m glad I decided to let love in. To let Johnny love me even though I wasn’t “perfect”, the “timing wasn’t right” and all that…stuff. If not now…when? Oh, and our Fall Sale on our popular home learning course – Heartbreak to Heart Open – ends in a few days. Learn more here.

P.S. By the way, a recent graduate of our programs is now happily married to her soulmate and they are expecting their first child together, a little girl. As a mother-to-be of a little girl she wrote on her own health blog about this same subject. Raw and real, she has good stuff to share. She said she cried when she discovered they were having a girl, read here and discover why.

Johnny and Lara Recommend:

Healing that heartbreak from home, right now.

Had some heartbreak in your past you feel you may not be healed from? Interested in addressing that, and save some money while you do? You might want to check out our Fall Sale on our powerful home learning course – Heartbreak to Heart Open. You can save over 50% for just a few more days. Learn more and get started on healing that heart HERE.


Did that painful breakup make you BETTER?

by Dr. Lara Fernandez on November 11, 2014

After a great weekend delivering a workshop to our clients, we are resting and rejuvenating ourselves right now. There’s nothing like supporting amazing, powerful, awesome women in remembering how amazing, powerful and awesome they truly are!

I’m excited to share our video teaching series The Magic of Heartbreak, with you for a limited time. I’ve been getting questions about when it’s going to come out again… And here it is!

To your soulmate love,

article banner1 Did that painful breakup make you BETTER?

3482171164 67bf4a8614 z Did that painful breakup make you BETTER?I remember being in my late 20’s and looking for love. I had met a nice guy who I hoped was The One. He had everything I thought I wanted in a man: intelligent, kind, warm, funny. We started dating and for the first month, it was bliss… until it just wasn’t anymore. You know what I mean? He started becoming more and more distant, and I started wondering what the hell was wrong with me?! Why couldn’t I keep a man?

Eventually, we broke up. Or rather, he broke up with me and I just pretended I wanted to break up, too. I was heartbroken. He was the first real grown-up I had ever dated. After the initial weeks (months?) of painful grieving, I woke up one morning and started to take stock of my situation. I realized that I had learned so much from our break up process, probably more then I learned from the relationship itself! What an eye-opening experience!

I learned that a breakup can make you better because:

4369724386 dd7f8e12ed z Did that painful breakup make you BETTER?1. It teaches you something about yourself
If you are willing to do some inner excavation, you will find that you learned something about yourself, about what makes you tick and about what aspects of yourself are supportive or unsupportive to attracting what you want.

Ask yourself: In your last breakup, what did you learn about yourself? And how are you applying what you learned to help you find love now?

2. It humbles you
We all need to be humbled sometimes. As the saying goes:

“With pride, there are many curses. With humility, there come many blessings.”- Ezra Taft Benson

One of the blessings of humility is that it keeps us grounded in reality and not in some fantasy world. Not to say that you shouldn’t dream big and go for what you want, but you definitely want to keep your feet on the ground as you reach for the stars!

Ask yourself: In your last breakup, how were you humbled? And how is that going to help you in your next relationship? What’s the “blessing in the mess” for you?

4723657763 f85d0d2b36 z Did that painful breakup make you BETTER?3. You have to dig deep to make it through (you find out how strong you can be)
They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and you know what? I agree! But only if you LET it make you stronger.

Ask yourself: In your last breakup, how were you made stronger? And how is that going to help you in your next relationship? How is it helping you now in your life?

4. You got clear on what you DON’T want
Clarity is king. From that breakup, no matter how painful or devastating it was, you learned more about what you DON’T want, right? Right!

Ask yourself: In your last breakup, what did you find out that you didn’t want in relationship? And how is that going to help you when looking for your next relationship?

5. You got more clear on what you DO want
Clarity on what you DON’T want automatically brings clarity about what you DO want. Some spiritual teachers call this process “contrast”, and that’s a great description.

Ask yourself: In your last breakup, what did you find out that you did want and need in relationship? How is that going to help you to attract your next relationship? What can you do now to stay true to what you really, really want in your love life?

5763431996 09308a8f0d z Did that painful breakup make you BETTER?There’s so much more to say about how there is actually MAGIC in that heartbreak. In fact, Johnny and I created an entire video teaching serious about just that – the Magic of Heartbreak. In these totally free videos I interviewed some friends and colleagues – Arielle Ford, Marci Shimoff, Amy Ahlers, Orna Walters, and Susie Collins and we discuss how you can find magic in your heartbreak. Johnny and I are only able to have these videos available for a short time, so if you want to dive deeper into finding the magic in your heartbreak (recent or long ago) you’ll want to sign up to receive the videos here.

In the meantime, remember that everything happens for a reason, and it can serve you in some way, but ONLY if you LET it. Even and especially a break-up. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this article so please comment below and I’ll do my best to respond to every comment. Have a blessed week!


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We had such a beautiful weekend! Saturday night, we went out with our Advanced Program client and her new husband for a double date to talk all things love and marriage. What an honor and a blessing to witness their love and respect for one another. Every time we go out to dinner with a […]

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