The #1 thing NOT to do when looking for love

by Dr. Lara Fernandez on July 22, 2014

We’re resting after delivering our Love Warrior Training Camp this past weekend. What an INCREDIBLE, heart-opening experience. I am thankful EVERY SINGLE DAY to do this sacred work for women.

We are also about to head up to Mt. Shasta this week for some R & R on that sacred mountain. Looking forward to “filling my cup” there.

In this week’s post, I share with you the #1 thing NOT to do when looking for love. I hope you get value out of it.

article banner1 The #1 thing NOT to do when looking for love

“Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty.” -Rumi

ID 100401521 300x240 The #1 thing NOT to do when looking for loveLooking for soulmate love ain’t for sissies. You SAY you want to find the love of your life and I’m here to tell you, this journey is not for the ambivalent or halfhearted lady. If you kind of want a relationship but also like your “freedom” (which means that you interpret being in relationship as being NOT free), and you say you’re ready to give this looking for love thing a “try”, while just relying on luck, then you’re not fully committed.

But if you are willing to give some time, energy and resources to investing in YOU, then you’re in the right place reading this blog. You see, when you’re looking for soulmate love and a lifetime, committed relationship:

DON’T be half-assed about it!

Give it your all, girlfriend. Go big or go home.

So what does half-heartedness look like?

Dating…dating…dating, and thinking that it’s all about how many dates you go on as you “hope to get lucky”. Thats half-hearted because it doesn’t engage your heart and soul, it’s just actions, like trying to find a needle in a haystack. and it’s tiring, too.

ID 100245762 199x300 The #1 thing NOT to do when looking for loveDoing the same thing year-after-year….after year…after year…and thinking THIS year will be different. What have you read this year to help you understand yourself better? What conversations have you had that have expanded your mind and heart and how you see the world, and yourself? What have you learned that has expanded and literally changed who you are for the better at a core level? One of the phrases that comes up again and again from women when discussing the effect of our advanced program on them and their lives is simply this: “life changing”. What have you done this year, or next, that’s setting you up to have a LIFE-CHANGING experience?

Complaining about men, dating, and relationships, but not becoming a Student of Love. In the fall we’ll be launching our new podcast where you’ll have lots of opportunity to learn about love and yourself, several times a week. We hope you’ll join us and be a Student of Love in a whole new way!

Being half-assed in your LIFE. Are you going for your dreams? Are you working toward meaningful goals? Are you giving yourself the love you wish a man will? If you’re not excited about your life, how can he be? Go for your dreams, but never believe the lie that you can’t have career/business success AND a healthy love life. You can, but not with wishy-washy half heartedness.

ID 10049599 199x300 The #1 thing NOT to do when looking for loveAt the end of the day, at the end of your life, you will want to know that you gave your ALL to living the life you truly desire, the life of your dreams, and that you “left it all on the court” (to quote a basketball saying). THAT is part of what will have your soul be at peace when you arrive at the end of this lifetime. So go for it!

So, what do YOU think of what I wrote about this week? I’d love to hear from you and I do my best to respond to every comment (because I’m on vacation the next few weeks, it’ll take a little time, but I WILL get back to you)… so leave a comment below here on the blog!


You want a man? You need to LIKE men.

by Dr. Lara Fernandez on July 15, 2014

This week, we are putting the finishing touches on our preparations for Love Warrior Training Camp, our final live event for our full year advanced program. This is one of the most exciting times of the year for me, as I tap into that strong and empowered “Love Warrior” within ME to deliver this training.

Just a few days after Love Warrior, we are heading up to Mt. Shasta for our annual family “glamping” trip! It’s “Glamourous Camping”, as we are staying in an apartment on the campgrounds and all three meals a day are prepared for us. Talk about livin’ the dream! icon wink You want a man? You need to LIKE men.

In this week’s article, I discuss how important it is to LIKE men in order to attract one. I hope you LIKE it. icon wink You want a man? You need to LIKE men.

article banner1 You want a man? You need to LIKE men.

ID 100112133 218x300 You want a man? You need to LIKE men.Not that long ago, I was talking to a single woman who told me she wanted to find her true love, but soon revealed that she didn’t really LIKE men very much. She had been hurt and betrayed and didn’t feel she could trust them and therefore, didn’t like them.

I asked her, “If you don’t like men, then why do you want a man? Why not allow yourself to be a ‘contented single’? There’s truly no shame in that!”

She responded, “I want a man because I need one to create a family.”

I said, “Not really. In this day and age, any single woman with resources can have her own child without needing to get a man into the mix.”

Then she said, “But I love the IDEA of being truly loved by a man and being able to trust him, but I’ve never actually SEEN a healthy relationship before, so how do I know it’s really even possible?”

The thing is, I know she’s not the only woman in the world who feels this way.

So let’s flash forward to this moment, right here and right now. You’re reading this article. Let me ask you a question… How would you feel dating a man who you sensed disliked or distrusted YOU and/or women in general?

ID 10044279 300x199 You want a man? You need to LIKE men.That would make you feel guarded and defended in your heart, yes? Maybe afraid to commit or to share your emotions for fear of being hurt, and quick to walk away when the heat gets turned up? Of course.

(Notice how those things are things that most women complain about regarding men!)

Well, men are different than women, certainly. But we all DO share lots of traits in common.

So, if you’re distrustful and/or dislike men… but you’re wanting to find your soulmate, can you see how that is like driving your car with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake?? Of course you can see this.

And now, what do you do about that? How do you start to LIKE and TRUST men again so you can be magnetic to a good quality one that will be worthy of your trust and love??

ID 100171725 199x300 You want a man? You need to LIKE men.Before you start the work of understanding men… start by understanding YOU. Do the inner work to clear the blocks to love, to open your heart with wisdom and discernment and courage, to forgive yourself for the mistakes and the misunderstandings you made in relationships in the past, and to truly prepare yourself to be a loving, committed wife to the partner of your dreams. Once you do this, you’ll soon find that you’ve allowed yourself to LIKE them more, and understanding men becomes easier and simpler. icon wink You want a man? You need to LIKE men.

Like any goal that you’re going for in your life, be it business success or a fit, healthy body or, of course, soulmate love, it’s about WHO you become on the conscious and intentional journey to that goal. Jim Rohn, one of the world’s greatest motivational and success speakers ever, said this:

“Success is not something you pursue. What you pursue will elude you. It can be like trying to chase butterflies. Success is something you attract and accumulate by the person you become.” — Jim Rohn

Here’s to you BECOMING the woman you’ve always dreamed of. In fact, that’s something our advanced program clients say all the time – that they are becoming the woman they always dreamed of. If they can do it, you can do it, and it can start right now by you looking at yourself, and men…differently.

So, what about you? I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts in the comment section below on the blog, and I do my best to respond to every comment.

Have a great week!


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